I'm sleeping back in my room for the first time since Wednesday tonight, I only missed it here because all my shit is here.. The idea of moving out is getting more and more attractive with each night I spend freezing my ass of listening to my roof leak and drip all over my wardrobe and the wall around it. The wallpaper is missing and the plaster underneath is rotting away. I keep asking about getting my roof repaired, but apparently HD TVs and stereos are more important.
Still, I dint really have to clean up any more.. I mean what would the point of tidying up and making the place neat if I have this big wet scummy wall in the corner.
I guess I should have been tipped into what was going on when my Mom demanded I redo the wallpaper and then didn't buy enough to cover the room..
There's a lot of memories in this room, not all of them happy, and none that I really feel like talkin about, except for the time I owned an armchair and would get stoned and fall asleep in it with my tv on. That was great.
Ugh, at least it will be dry and warm in the summer.
It's been an odd oul week, although nothing really happened until Thursday when someone convinced me to go to Fibbers to see Joey on her actual birthday. fuuck, I really think I shouldn't have gone. Being crazy about some girl you're with and seeing them all over some other one doesn't make for the best night out. I really couldn't be around it, so I wandered off, went up to say hey to Rob at the bar and so on.. well I went up and said that it fucking sucked, but there you go.
He thinks I should have been better behaved that night, and it's true, it was her birthday after all, but God damn it was hard to be around, I really couldn't help it.
The 3 of us headed back to Frodo's, which is now called the Craic Den in some sort of parody of the Bakery, and also because Frodo's bathroom looks like someone tore out all the fixtures to sell for crack. We slept on the futon and promptly froze to death.
Frodo asked us back the next day to watch a movie and stay over, so we parted ways and I headed back to mine after popping back to Robs for their showers. His parents think Joey is a lesbian after he told them that to let her sleep over one night.. I think it's pretty funny.
Back home I fell asleep without working on Joey's present which I rued, but... wait didn't I say I hadn't slept in my bed since Wednesday night? I guess I was wrong..
We slept in Frodos that night on the Futon again this time with every spare blanket in the house. We talked a lot about what was going on and I promised that I'd be better next time. Next time being the next night... Ugh why do I do these things to myself?
I knew that Nat would be there, I knew that Eric was going to be there and I knew it would hurt to see either of them together with her. Shit, at this stage I knew how much it hurt for a fact, but of course I know why I was going through this. I know in my heart that she is worth any pain or bullshit, an' I really don't think I would do this for anyone else..
I'm getting away from the story now.. We slept and headed home to get ready... and by that I mean I fell asleep. I managed to get her present finished and packed up, grabbed a shower and then headed off for the city.
Fuck this is a boring blog.
I got really nervous on the train over. I thought I might puke and it lasted the whole way to the pub, which I managed to get lost in for about 5 minutes. Stupid Doyles.
Hey I read about a girl who was so afraid to go to the dentist that she refused to eat for fear of a cavity and starved to death. Life is funny like that some times, it'd be funnier if she wasn't a child though, poor thing. How do you explain that to someone? My daughter died recently, she refused to eat because she was scared of getting her teeth pulled.
Fuck.
It was a lot better that night, I enjoyed myself. I don't want to bother with details but moments that night include a few dudes who decided to sneak cans in and refill their pints with them, Stella attacking me with the flash on a camera, a drunken phone call from my dad, who had been taken to the big rugby game that day and couldn't remember the conversation we had at all, oh and there was the part were the crowd around the bar stared getting thicker and thicker until I started to freak out a little. Ugh I hate being that close to random people.
Oh I also mentioned that the barman was hot.
OH! and it was 5.30 a pint! I barely got drunk.
Oh..and I told Joey I love her..and I meant it, which is really fucking scary to me. I keep thinking that it's too soon to feel like this..but then again I do, so why worry?
Off we went to Joey's house, which is were I was for the rest of the weekend until now. I just didn't want to leave.
Fuck, even laying about watching TV or talking shit about people is fun with her. At one stage she offered me a tenner to wear her drainpipes to dinner with her family. I took her up on that offer... easiest tenner I ever made, that.
I think she was a little annoyed that they ended up being too big for me... Of course now she's seen me in drainpipes and is begging me to let her buy me some. Damn my tiny legs!
Okay before I go, here is the picture I did for her.. I like it, I think it's sweet in a really weird way...
God I'm really drowsy...
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