Ugh I'm so bored.
So, like..how does someone start a bloody blog? Ah well, I've got all night and some new music to blast out, so I might as well start my favorite person to be in the world... which is me.. Sorry did you think I was talkin' about someone else?
The name is Peter, I am currently a skeleton living is a small, leaky, converted garage somewhere in Bray. 21 years ago I showed up, and have been doing so since. My mom showed me the little tag they had on my wrist a month or two ago, it was pretty surreal. I'm stealing the fuck out of that at some stage.
I was a pretty cute baby, which makes my current state even more of a shame, I had a full head of black hair. I was two weeks overdue, which is the first documented case of me being late for something.
Really really old shit
After a stint in an incubator (I'll have to get back to you on why that was, it's not like I remember), my parents brought me back to our ickle house in Walkenstown.. Yeah, I guess that might make me a SOUTH SIDER on paper. I will murder anyone who accuses me of that. Fuck you.
I remember so little from this time, I remember what our living room looked like.. We had canoes in the back garden.. it was a cul de sac.. Very very little. One week after my fourth birthday we moved to Bray.
I have a million different stories about Bray, it's a pretty dumb place to live.. I mean the town hall is a Mc Donalds. I'll tell them some day, I have to.
Childhood happened, although I couldn't tell you exactly what that entailed without thinking back really hard. Ahhhh the nineties, fucking Christ, wasn't that the best time to be a kid ever? Monsters in my Pocket, Nintendos, Saturday morning tv with those shows that were only meant to sell you shit.. Climbing trees, drawing stuff with my granddad.. Pop rocks...A pack of crisps and a coke for under a POUND.. Kids in school running away from me..
More old shit
MOSTLY a good time. I wasn't the prettiest kid (I had the ugliest hair and when my baby teeth fell out they grew back crooked), but I was one of the smartest.. Not the smartest or anything, and I didn't flaunt it.. You probably knew a kid like me, real quiet, always reading, did well without having to try too hard. Yeah so you can imagine how the other kids took to me.
Yeah well a lot of them have kids now or are on shit so guess who got the last laugh there.
Puberty happened. I don't like to talk about it, seeing as I spent most of it worrying about school and..God everything else. I got fed a lot of shit back then about how I was going to ruin my life, I was getting picked on a lot.. oh and the only girl who seemed to like me was really creepy and perverted... Man you know if I had have chased her about an groped her they would have kicked me out of school so hard my ass would land in front of me.. Like I said she was creepy.
It got better though, 4th year happened, I didn't have exams until sixth year, I could relax. So I did and it was FUCKING AWESOME.
Age: 18...wow.. I used to sleep in the floor..
My dad always told me that I was fucking up because I "Didn't give a shit!", which couldn't have been further from the truth. I was so scared of fucking up..but whatever.. sometimes all you need is to stop being so serious and just go with the flow. I started going to gigs and parties, making new friends, who actually thought I was a decent guy. I started drawing properly again and actually found a direction in life. There were girls too.. weird girls..
Oh and I'd tear my arms apart with razor blades, yeah there was that too... Ugh, I'm going to have to explain that for the rest of my life.. Let's just say that when I wasn't feeling awesome I hated myself. I was passionate about drawing, and there was all this new stuff and new people in my life, but the people would go home, I'd run out of booze and I'd have nothing to draw.. and suddenly it'd be very very quiet.
I didn't just draw me...
This happened a lot in Blackwater. (God this is dragging on)
Blackwater is a village about 15 miles away from Wexford town, it has 4 pubs, a petrol station/ centra, an Arcade in a barn and 2 caravan parks. My parents bought a shitty, tumble-down cottage there once in...god like 98? So I was 10 or 11. I spent almost every weekend and every summer down there for 8 years. Mainly helping with DIY and wandering around in a village were I was really really not welcome. The Dub's thought I was a local, the locals thought I was a fucking freak. (Good guess)
I'd get home on Friday, change and then get in the car and go to wexford and then do nothing for two days. Come back and go to school. I have a lot of bad memories about there, and I'm really not over any of it, so I'm going to move on..
WALL OF TEXT.
I know... I should stick some pictures here...
Torn (scanned) from the pages of my own journal..
Alright were was I? Why did I tear up my arms with knifey things? Because it was distracting, it felt good (but not in some sort of sexual way), and for some reason I found looking at blood pouring down my arm or any of the other places..uh.. I found it calming. End of story. No more talking.
People.. (I.E every fucking person) took this as a sign that I was on the brink of doing something..uh fatally drastic and would have little chats with me. I know they meant well... but it really just annoyed me in the end. Looking back, I should have tried to explain myself, I got a lot of people needlessly upset and at one stage wasted a very pretty psychologist's time. I never intended to kill myself or anything, sorry dudes.
Ok enough of that, I stopped doing it. People were freaking out, there were rumors about me slitting my wrists.. it was really dumb.
I sort of lost patience with school then.. Yeah I know, you just went "Ugghhhhh!" but it's what happened. Maybe I was afraid of failing so I didn't try, maybe I was just too lazy at this stage..maybe it's because I got a place in a college (It's a fucking college fuck you) four months before the leaving cert. there's more stuff to this time then I'm letting on.. I was totally in love with this one girl.. she left me..blah blah.. Oldest story in the book, I'm over it now, whatever. It threw me for a bit though, I don't think I'd realised how much I relied on her to feel confident and all that nice jazz. You know, like you put up with shit all day just because you know you have someone who cares about you to bitch about it to. When she was gone there was no one to bitch about her leaving to. :\
I P. much look like this now..
Ok just a little more to go..I'm sorry for keeping you, if you're still here thanks for reading about my shitty boring ass life.
Right so I finished school, had a terrible debs (fuck the fucking debs), I waste a year in college not working (I REGRET NOTHING), quit and sign up for the worst job I've ever had and then repeated 1st year that September.
I love college so much, man the freedom was a bit overwhelming.. I went MAD with freedom and slacked off. Now I'm hard at work most of the time, and really taking pride in what I do. It's fucking great.
Of course it all comes to an end in a few months and then I have to work on a portfolio and find whatever shite register jockey job I can find to keep myself fed.. Still things are looking up, I'm good at what I do, I have a wonderful group of friends who I love very much and there's this one girl (see Joey, if we just talk like this noone will EVER know!) who I've grown very close to very very quickly...things are lookin good.
I'm going to get hit by a bus in the morning Jesus fuck why did I say things were looking up?!
Uh.. cue another picture!
waaaaaallkkkiieess
1:26 pm? Its 00:37
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