Okay that's better. For reference it's now 3am the night before I have to hand in two Projects, one a 3d walk cycle which is about...10% done and might actually have been extended to next week (And if it is thank fucking God because I can go in and fix it), and the other yoke is a mood board which I've been putting off for 3 months. That's about...oooh let's say 50% done. I might get that one done before morning. Well it's morning now I guess.. I'd like to say that with the 3d thing, it's because I've hit a fairly big roadblock and not me just being lazy. Honest.
I really should have made sure I brought home everything I needed..
I have another due on Thursday, it's a design project, where we had to make an invite and poster for some designer out of a list of ten. I'm about 90% done on that one (Yeah I don't know how to prioritise, sue me). I've gotten the poster AND the invitation done now, all I need is to put my research and some production stuff together and it's done and I can start on my open brief. ANIMATION FUCK YES!
There's also mu group project, which I usually do in class time... but lately I've been out because I was trying to be with Joey before she left or at home trying to make up for the work I didn't do while I was with her. I don't regret it though, I have the next two months to toil over my work without getting to see her. I really miss her..
But that comes later.
I managed to break my mouse this week while working. The pointer started to move about the screen on it's own and decided that I was double clicking all the time.. It made things very hard to do. The final straw came when I managed to fuck up my 3D project by somehow double clicking and zooming at the same time and skewing the object I had horribly. So my mouse got unplugged and I stuck in a much older spare I own. Which decided to work for about 5 minutes and then stopped.
So I did what I usually do..
Heh... Well not with the keyboard.
I freaked out, and eventually got my hands on a mouse from a laptop. (Thanks Mom!)
Let's see other BORING BORING SHIT, I can tell you before I get to all the drama that I know you're here for. THE SLEEEEEZE
I'm not in the best mood right now... yeah the signs are usually me waffling on and on about BORING SHIT NOBODY CARES ABOUT.
Seriously though, I'm not at the "Drinking on the roof" stage yet.. and hopefully I wont be... but fucking hell I seem to love to torture myself sometimes.. Right now I'm doubting everything.. EVERYTHING.
From the clothes I wear to what people think about me and my work.. I haven't been sleeping..or eating.. I seriously need to fucking relax.
Yeah okay now I'm going to talk about Fibbers on Thursday... fuuucck..
A lot of people were upset that night.. like, well pretty much everyone..with... well pretty much everyone..
Hrmm I'm wondering how much I should say about all of this.. I'm still a little hurt about some things.. Yeah okay look. Joey kissed this one guy, some guy that I thought she was pretty much done with (and one who's been propositioning her quite a bit..), which was okay I guess. Obviously it hurt to see, but I've been dealing with that..whatever. It's just that while she was kissing him she looked me dead in the eye, and kept going.. and it hurt, a lot.
So I got the hell out of there.. I'd promised to try and keep my cool, but man, this was different. I dunno, I'm not going to get into this because I'm still feeling bad about it and I have to talk to Joey about it a little.. Yeah that sound ominous but it really isn't.
I asked about it later and she said that sometimes she has to make herself feel something, which I think was her way of saying she felt nothing..but it's only raised more questions with me...
I'd say more, I'm sort of worried that this will offend her..
Right so I went out to the beergarden, yelled something to Rob and sat about feeling miserable while Rob started to yell at me..
Downstairs.. ugh I going to recall this wrong I know it.. Okay she stopped kissing him and said she had to go after me and he said something about forgetting me and pulled her back down and then she got pissed and he said "I guess I should leave" or something.. and she said yeah.
Yeah someone is going to come along and correct me on this one.
So up she comes and she yells at me about him leaving because of me, she was pretty angry.. Yeah it's something else Ihave to talk about with her.. although I think that she was more angry about me freaking out rather than her leaving.. I dunno. We didn't have a lot of time to talk about it and she had a lot to deal with too. My shit could wait.. but that's for later.
So she stormed off back downstairs and I sorta deflated.. and Rob yelled at me again. He said I HAD to get her back. We sorta had a heart to heart I guess, except with him yelling. He said I was the one she loves and I was who could make her happy and that he didn't like Eric at all and how he only really cared about her being happy. He also hatched a plot were I would try to win her back with Munchies... She really likes Munchies? I didn't go through with that though..
When I went down.. I can't remember if I apologised first and then we kissed or the other way round.. Fuzzy drunk memories, getting in the way of my story! Come to think of it.. I can't remember when she told me about how Eric acted either.. maybe the next day? Whatever though, fuck that guy.
Right, new story. And another reason for me to be pissed at someone..
So she's been pissed about Nat and this other dude.. They used to be friends and then when she wouldn't get with him he lost all interest, so the idea of them two together really bothers her. That's all the back story you really need there..
And they were together all night.. so Joey was pretty upset.. really really upset.. It was really hard to watch, and as I think the more she drank the angrier she got..
Oh wait more back story shit. We were all supposed to go back to Nat's drug den place afterwards as she was throwing Joey her own going away party.. I was worrying about it a lot.. It was like how she was the previous Friday, a load of people there that didn't exactly like me, some other person out for someone you like..
I asked her if she thought I'd be welcome there and she asked Nat to be sure.. Which I have a feeling contributed to what happened when we showed up in Fibbers.
We were at the bar after being there for about 5 minutes when Joey got a text that said that Nat's was off, and Joey freaked a little. She was officially stranded with Saz and Niamh.
So I offered to put them up.. My parents have always said that they'd be willing to let mates stay in the house in this exact situation.. To tell the truth I was sorta relieved to not be going back to the Bakery, but Nat's timing was terrible and put us all in a sticky spot.
As of the last time I checked, which was like.. Saturday, she still didn't have a reason for calling that off.
Okay back to the middle of the night, Joey was pretty pissed off, and God, I was trying to comfort her but she was miserable. I never want to see her like that again, that was fucking horrible. This was pretty fucked up, it was her going away party (Oh did I mention that? Because it was), and we already had our confrontation from earlier hanging over us..
She got up to dance and I decided, Fuck it, I'd get up and try..to..dance.. Ugh I hate dancing! Luckily we were in Fibbers so I just rocked the fuck out. I was complimented later on actually.. Rob and Joey didn't think I'd get into it like I did.. heh, little do they know, I rock out 24/7. Yeah okay I over did it and had a stiff neck for 3 days afterwards.. but it was worth it.
She seemed to really cheer up then, a lot more than me trying to comfort her did. it was great.
I guess that Nat and yer man got out there too at some stage and after a bit and uhh.. well we all started to notice it after a while. I should mention that Joey nearly started a fight with some dude then and I nearly got the shit beat out of me for yelling at someone I knew from the Internet while I walked to the toilets.. I said something like "Do you guys trust this guy, he's a fucking Goon!"
And then one of his friends got very offended, the thought I'd called him a goon, and while Capt. Gordon, his friend and me, tried to explain that I'd called Gordon a Goon and that it was "An internet thing", I could see him getting angrier and angrier..
Yeah I got the hell out of there..
Right so Rob had to physically get in between Nat and the fella with the face for Joey to even kiss her, which I took as my cue to head over and grab my drink.
So I sat down at the empty table and started necking my Cider when Nat wandered up to me, sat down beside me and began to talk.
I really meant to just walk off, seriously, but I guess I was just so pissed that I had to let out a huge "FUCK YOU!" as I did. I really didn't want to hear any of her fake fucking shit after putting Joey through all this shit... and her still wanting her, it made me so fucking mad.
I wandered around by that huge gaudy mural and tried to calm down. Unfortunately Nat chose that moment to walk by with one of her cronies, talking about someone being rude as she passed. "How embarrassing!" I yelled after her.. it's her catchphrase, it's really dumb and yelling it at her was pretty dumb too.. everyone I've told thinks it was a s masterstroke though.. It felt right at the time too.
She flipped me off and I called her a whore and a cunt and told her to fuck off. And she did. Yaaaaaay!
It was like.. 2:30 at this stage so I went to grab my shit, the bus was in a half hour and everyone likes to grab eats first..
Man I don't know how to approach this next bit.. Joey came over and asked to leave so we went upstairs and she freaked out about something.. It ws a pretty big deal, not fit for public blogs, but lets say she was worried and I think she needed to tell someone.. Of course Nat and yer dude-man fella were behind us in the line for coats and bags so she excused herself and went out front. I followed and found Rob resting his head against a pole, so I did too. He knew what happened too and we both stood there for a minute until someone interrupted..
"Emos over there lads.."
I looked up, I knew it was Nat, the woman's voice annoys me, and I lost it.
I didn't even yell anything proper like "how could you do that to her" or... something that wasn't just aggression.. So there was plenty of Fuck offs and I asked her why she had to be such a cunt... I was basically just yelling and swearing in the street. I'm sure it looked dodgy..
I grabbed my bag and headed off to the bus stop, alone. I didn't give a fuck, I couldn't be around her. Halfway down O'Connel street I got a call from Rob, who'd wandered off too. We sat down by the bus stop.. He was pissed, I was too, so we sat and waited for the others.. I didn't know if they were coming..
Back by the pub Nat was angry about me swearing her out like that and complained to Joey, who replied with "But..you are being a Cunt..".
They went to the shop and then came down to us. Rob needed to talk to Joey, which left me on my own in the middle of the street. So I stuck on my music and stopped paying attention.
When the bus came... there was more shit.. Everyone split into two groups.. which were Rob, Joey and myself and then..everyone else..
Joey didn't want Saz and Niamh to go upstairs with the others, who were with Nat and dude-guy-man.. I'm not exactly sure what happened..there was a lot of awkward shuffling and then everyone went upstairs asides from us, who collapsed in a miserable heap in the back of the bus.
Holy shit Adam West is in this Zombie movie! And Motorhead!
A few minutes later Scooby came down and wondered why we were all there. Joey was really upset and stuck on Radiohead and stared out the window looking miserable. She's told me since to not let her do that.. Oh man I feel sick again.. There is a LOT to write too..
God I felt so bad for her then.. I know how she felt.. plus she had some other things weighing on her. And then we got to..wherever it was, everyone wandered off the bus, Saz and Niamh included.. I thought they were going to mine, but there you go. It turns out they got a taxi from there, to Naas, which made no sense. it would have cost a lot less to get a taxi in the city.. As for everyone else they went back to Nat's.
Yeah.
We got back to Bray and after Rob and her had a talk we went back to my house and went to sleep.. I got a little angry at her there over something that really wasn't worth it... I was still a little upset from the entire night and I let that get to me. Joey kept saying she loves me, and more than once I replied with something like "Yeah" or "sure". I shouldn't have been like that. I feel pretty shitty about that. I stopped acting like an idiot and fell asleep holding her. God I love her..
I asked her why she kept saying she loves me, she said that she realised how much I mean to her over the course of the night.. We talked about a lot of that night the next day.. I told her that I thought that A lot of what Nat did that night was because of me, Rob thinks so too, so I'm not the only one who got that impression.. Joey backed it up by mentioning that Nat threatened her over me too..
She had a lot to think about on friday I think, she asked us a lot if we had.. O h wait we went to breakfast ith Rob Molloys. Love it there. She asked us if we had actually seen them kiss, and neither of us could say we did.. She asked me if I thought they'd had sex, and I didn't say anything... I really don't want to tell her I figured they did.. considering who it was and everything, but if me saying that was why she would break it off with her... I don't want to be the reason for that, even though I hate seeing them together, I just can't be that guy..
We went back to fibbers that day to see if we could find some stuff she left there, and we managed to get it all back. It was pretty cool, I really didn't think we'd get it back. Then we headed back to hers for showers and packing.
Or did she start later...? ARGH IT'S 06:34 AM I HAVE A PROJECT DUE IN 5 HOURS OH GOD OH JESUS FUCK...
Ok
After all this it was time for dinner with her family in some Chinese restaurant.. Man those guys in there are crazy! Ive been informed that I ate enough too, yaaay.
Once Joey's grand parents and her brother and sister had left we went off to the Front Lounge, which her mother still doesn't know is a gay bar, which I find hilarious. I kept leaning in to Joey and telling her terrible jokes about her mother wondering why all the other women looked so manly and stuff like that, it was great. After a drink she went home and left us pair together.. You know.. she keeps doing that.. I wonder if she knows about us.. She did it again in the airport, which I was thankful for, it was the last chance I got to kiss someone for 3 months!
Back home we went and she continued to pack.. and freaked out.. She loves clothes.. and packed waay to much, freaking out about how much she had to do the entire time.. The poor girl.. She had no idea how she was going to get the thing even closed..
By the time she finished she was really tired and didn't really want to stay up and talk.. Which upset me a little.. she was leaving in the morning and this was the last chance I had to talk to her.. We slept in each others arms again..
In the morning they finally got the case shut, it weighed a ton! I could barely lift it seeing as my neck had gone from being sore to being stiff as fuck.
I started to feel upset then, I knew I was going to miss her.. I really didn't want her to leave me here..Before I knew it we were in a car heading for the airport, were we found out that Joey had, in fact, packed too much.. about 16 KG too much..
So we had to take a heap of her clothes out, and stuck some more on her to wear on the way. I've got her wellies right here.
I keep getting this mental image of her in Germany with 5 layers of clothes on, trying to push her giant case onto a train..
We left her and Saz at the security gate, her mom got a little upset and then she left us alone. I kissed her goodbye and told her I love her.. She told me that I shouldn't worry about her, but I can't help it.. I'm afraid that we'll drift apart because of the distance..
They walked away and as I headed for the entrance I started to choke up.. I've been doing that ever since actually.. just every once and a while I'll miss her really bad.. but I haven't cried.. That's not some sort of macho shit, either. I want to cry over it, I want to get it out, but I haven't been able to yet.. Whatever, I'm sure that either I will or it'll just stop hurting.. Meh you don't want to hear this.
I'm not exactly sure how it's been going over there, she seemed a bit nervous, but she's seems to be settling in.. I dunno, she's been pretty busy and hasn't be able to text me much.. I've texted her loaads though, I must seem like a needy prick.. I'm really not used to not talking to her all day like before.. Oh man it's Wednesday now..
I think I'll leave it at that... I'm tired.. I need to get some sleep and then finish shit before college... Oh wait... One more thing.
You
Yeah you
You'll hate me for this...
OH LOOK I REMOVED IT
:)
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