Right so I just got back and it seems like no one wants to talk to me, so it's bloggin time.. I want to sleep but I can't yet!
On Tuesday it was St. Patricks day.. Paddy's day for me is almost always a reall shitty affair full of confusion and then at some stage either a party or... I go home and mope or something, because if there's any day I should be out it's Paddy's day. It's sort of gotten like Halloween, I end up all dressed up with nowhere to go. Last year I spent it in Molloy's in Bray and then in the pub doing nothing, it was about as vanilla as you could get without staying home.. in previous years I've partied.. like when I was 17 and scored my best friends ex without meaning too while so drunk I couldn't even move... That girl hurt me in ways I physically never want to be hurt ever again.. And strained my reletionship with Barry so badly we didn't speak for an entire summer.
Rosie was a whore, but in the end it was me who kissed her.. not the other way around. I wasn't the only one she was with that night. And I'm glad I didn't do some of the shit that they did later..
Yeah it can be a pretty hit or miss day.
This year I planned nothing and people came to me.. Or said they would. In the end there were a lot less people. Firstly I headed to the seafront..
The place was swarming with Schweas...There were tracksuits and socks with tracksuits shoved into them... and Mullets.. Argos jewelery... The works.
Seriously, huge crowds of them milling about outside the biggest rides the town likes to put out... on loan from Funderland. All of them grimacing their best hard-man grimaces. I was immediatly uncomfortable..
I don't have a picture of them so you'll have to trust me on this.
I met up with the others; Stella, Richard, Alley, Robbie and Tom, and preceeded to wander the Prom in Bray untill they were done with the rides..
I'm afraid of heights!!!
It was very colouful down there.. Richard managed to puke after going on the spinny room.. Poor dude. after a second spin on the Spinny room Stella found out that Frodo was returning from the Gaeltacht at some stage in the next 2 hours. So we headed off back to mine minus Robbie and Tom. I was happy to get back home. I was pretty bored outside.
There we proceeded to try and smoke salvia...and failed... I'm under the impression that Richard got burnt badly by whatever headshop he was in.. So fuck it, I got drunk and set up Rockband in the other room.
After that, Rob came! And we all played Rockband for a while, till Stella had to split. So Alley and Richard left too..
But Fionn and Barry showed up and we played more games and pounded brewskis like brahs and male bonded and things like that. Whatever. We got drunk and played videogames, what more do you want from me? Yeah okay I guess it was good to hang out with them pair again seeing as we were really close as kids..and as teenagers.. I really miss those days sometimes..
Ha, sorry I'm a little sad now. bloody nostalgia!
Oh they guys brought Joey up a couple of times too, but I tried to keep talk of her down to a minimum with Rob around. When he left I went on for ages about how great she was and everything..
She wasn't feeling the best on Tuesday. I read her blog about 5 minutes after she put it up (I devour anything she writes, letters, blogs, texts, everything). She's been having a rough time with.. everything.. there's a lot of stuff for her to worry about and to feel pressured by, including me. First with that huge commitment trip I went on, which she just can't do right now and I decided to let go after.. well after both her explaining everything and telling me flat out that if I kept at it she'd be too presured. And then after that we both got pretty serious..
Not to sound like a prick or anything, but the easiest way to explain it is that we let the distance get to both of us and we both got a little clingy..Which led to us both missing each other very very much.. too much really.
more about that later, but during the course of the night I sent her a few texts to let her know what was going on, and to see if she was okay.. Of course it only reminded her of us back home having more fun than her and made her worse.. I feel really bad about that because I really didn't mean to cause her pain..
Everyone left and I finally went to bed.. I ended up not sleeping and got up to finish my 3d project (watch this space for that actually!), but didn't bother to hand it in and slept that day. (Yeah I know.. It's a two pronged project so it's still actually ongoing..)
At some stage a letter arrived for me from Joey, which I read and wrote out a reply to..and scrambled to get a picture finished to mail off with the rest of my stuff before 4:45 when the post left. I got there at 4:30. :)
Despite that it still hasn't arrived, I could have taken my time!
I talked to Joey for a long time that night, about the story she writing and also about visiting her in Munich a few days earlier which led to some friction, and she hung up and went to bed before she said something bad. Of course I took it the wrong fucking way and got angry.. Sent her a huge text and promptly refused to sleep again.. Like the idiot I am sometimes.
Next morning she tells me why it happened but also told me it was getting way too difficult, and we talked it out a tiny bit.. It was true. We'd both managed to end up in this shitty situation were we were both worrying about the other the whole time and missing each other like crazy.. a really unbearable amount. instead of enjoying conversations we'd just agonise with each other about missing each other (and well we enjoyed conversations too..but not enough). We didn't go into that much depth that morning.. I was dopey from lack of sleep and she was stressing over her presentation. So I left her alone to focus on that and offered a rather lame suggestion that we just try to calm down. I cut school again and caught up on about 5 hours of sleep.
I woke up in the afternoon and started working my ass off. I suddenly had a lot of drive.. and it helped me not worry about things too. I'm pretty proud of the work I got done then..
Joey got online later and we had a really long talk, first about whatever and then about the more serious matter. Which started off really badly with us both saying nothing for a long time..
She said everything was getting to be too much, and without getting too into the details, said we were making ourselve miserable..So she wanted to step back.. or did she say distance ourselves? Oh I think she said we had to step back and I misheard and took it as distance ourselves.. actually I'm not sure what I thought she meant. She wanted to go back to when we were fun and not all clingy.. but I sort of took it as her wanting to drift away a bit and took it hard until I realised that wasn't the case. In the end we agreed to..be fun again I guess. Things are so much easier when we're relaxed.. even if one of us is angry, we usually get through it well..
We talked a little more and then she went to bed. I think I did too..Friday moring I slept in a little, but got in to school pretty much on time. Joey had skipped college to sleep in to rest before going to a bar and got to run that day. (First time in 3 weeks, she felt horrible with herself over it, hopefully she feels better now..)I spent all morning either texting her, IMing her or getting some important work done.. well the life drawing wasn't important..and i messed the wwhole way through.. But ehh that's besides the point.. sorry I'm falling asleep.. We talked a whole heap on Friday, but we both stayed really positive and, man, it really felt good.
She went off to booze it up and I tried to get some people together to play games and failed.. so I did nothing for most of the night..I was okay though. Joey texted me at something like 2am to tell me the bar SUCKED and that it was full of indies and she was having a really shit time. She really deserved a good night out after this weeks bullshit..but there you go. Sorry Joey. I fell asleep at some stage.. sent her a text when I woke up for 5 minutes at some stage and went back to sleep.
SATURDAY
Okay i'm nearly done.
Today I had to go to Frodos for a BBQ. The weather was supposed to be lovely today.. I woke up around 12 and looked outside.. a dull, grey sky greeted me. Thanks Frodo.
Lessee.. talked to Joey for 2 hours about last night, her story and whatever else..
After that I was picked up by Robbie for the bbq..which was lame..Yes it was lame. No one showed so it was the 5 of us eating BBQ food in doors for a few hours. Untill we went to see Watchmen at around 7.
Not much else to say really. Joey ended up in an Irish bar watching Rugby.. which I think she shares my distaste for..judging by her texts.. anyway I'm tired... look at these photos!!!!
THEY'RE PRETTY!
OH AND THEN I SAW A FOX!!!!!!
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